They laid me at their feet. The council agreed to it. To lay me at their feet.
I didn’t have any alternatives either, other than to lay there naked at their feet. They knew me well enough from their years of observations to know that there was no other way that I would’ve sat there and allowed that shh. Ain’t no way ide’ve allowed all the disses… to be held in such dis-dain… to be shown such dis-respect and be so dis-regarded. I would’ve never. I would’ve easily walked away. So they put me in a position where I couldn’t. And in doing so they knew I was as gonna fight it. Oh they knew. And they knew how I would fight it. And they allowed for all of my weapons to be used against me before I even started to pick them up to use to fight with them. I can’t explain to you how I knew outside of saying that It was a feeling… I felt it would work against me. That’s how I gnew. I haven’t walked this long and gone thru this much to hold myself to anything less than that which I declare I AM. Yet this was nothing against who I gnow myself to be. This was different. And I was perplexed by how every single person involved moved.
They laid me at their feet tho. And that’s the part that fascinates and mesmerizes me about the whole thing. The design of it. Just how all the pieces blended together. Like a melody. A two step amongst many that didn’t even gnow that they were two steppin. All in sync, all in step, and in tune to their melody without even gnowing it. All of us like string dolls being enchanted by their rhythm and moving to their beat. Thinking it is each our own will yet, the whole time they were pulling all the strings. Everyone captivated, all involved, all intoxicated by it; Myself most importantly. Talk about perspective, I imagine it as cognac some weed then two cups of Ayahuasca… for me at least. Cause child I’ve been mad, reflective and philosophical all the while seeing into things… sensing, feeling deeply, receiving and low key hallucinating like never before.
But friend you don’t hear me when I tell you, they laid me bare at they feet tho. And they drunk the wine and then they spit on a Queen. Talked about me like a dog cause I was laying there in all of my confusion. I ain’t gnow which way to go friend. I was completely discombobulated. It was a definite man D-O-W-N. And they was happy and celebratory in seeing a Queen in a spiral. In total disarray. A spiral that took the form of bitter extremes. Over indulgence, self medicating and lack of care for what she loves most. They all had a front row seat in her audience. Her tragedy they saw as a comedy. Something to compare their own lives to and to be able to say that they weren’t as bad as because of. They used her responses, her wobble time after the initial blow as a way to justify wickedness. To make her more deserving of what she was always so undeserving of and that which she is ordained by blood to default above and that which will forever be beneath her. They bought and paid to come boo and laugh at what they saw as weaknesses but was nothing more than confusion, sadness, isolation and fear.
Confusion as to why they, the behind the scenes hand orchestrating it all, would allow her to be stretched out like that in front of those she had no ill intent to. That she wanted so badly to help. Sad because she didn’t understand the why of it all. Isolation because nobody could relate, And fearful because I thought I had disappointed and somehow fallen out of alignment and out of agreement with my everything. That I may have to go it alone without my most beloved. Or even that my beloved wasn’t who I always gnew him to be… and that this was some sick way of me finding out. Oh But somehow she gnew that it all was a lie.
She began to see herself outside of herself. She began to watch it all as if she were watching a movie that she was the main character within. All the while she was sitting in the audience. A voyeur to her own life, and she would get glimpses of what she should do and say but only at the time that she should do and say them. Nothing could be premeditated because she couldn’t pull from that far ahead. That was the strangest part about it. Everything was so… Dynamic.
She began to stop caring about the why’s and to rest within the what is. And what is? It’s that They laid me at their feet as a gift. And they spit on me. And denied me countless times. But to no avail I rose.
In all her actions she increased in internal power and purpose. She garnered the respect of Them, those spiritual beings that allowed such things in the first place. They banked on her. They gnew better than she the probability that she would do as she did due to them watching her throughout all of her many walks before her debut within this particular circle. All the many walks that prepared her for her now They watched from above. How did she gnow? She saw them. From time to time she would get glimpses of them. She gnew. Yet none of it has diminished the value of her I AM. That was not the intention of Them. The intention of them was to strengthen her I Am. To expand and flower out the potential that she never would’ve expounded upon otherwise. To masterfully lead her to a deeper gnowing via priceless experiences. Through tough love she found how deeply she was loved. She saw love actualized. Them allowing all these things, these hard things to come upon her made her better. They’ve blessed her with vision. They revealed to her proof that she is worthy. That all the roads she’s traveled have made her capable and a formidable opponent or ally. That thru God she is more than enough. And all these things combined acted as proof to her that there is no greater Love.